I figured ‘me’ out…for today
I was mulling over my “training” or lack thereof while laying in bed and not getting up to workout. I could blame it on my husband for tapping my lightly at 6:30 and whispering that he was going in to work late and I didn’t need to hurry off to the gym. Those words dipped like honey on my ears. Um. Well. If you like honey in your ears, that means it was lovely to hear. I clicked off the alarm and started to think. Great. Not sleep. Think. Why am I not plowing into this prep?
Reason 1: I am not paying anyone to tell me what to do, so the guilt of spending money isn’t looming.
Reason 2: I have not planned even one day what I’m going to eat. What is the first lesson of BFL? Fail to plan and you plan to fail. Duh.
Reason 3: I’m a little scared terrified to actually TRY to do a fitness routine.
My flexibility is well, I’m not. I have been stretching, but it is soooo slow coming. I really fear getting out there and looking like an old lady trying to do something. Writhe? Wiggle? Kind of like when my mom dances these days. She used to cut a rug back in the day, but now, well she’s 80. She tried to do the worm at my birthday party a few years ago. It wasn’t pretty. I don’t want to be the 80 year old doing the worm. Then when it is over everyone will smile and tip there heads slightly to the side as if to say “Aw, look at the old lady trying to dance. Isn’t she cute?” I’m just trying to be realistic here. This isn’t about quitting something, it’s about looking like a fool. Any lop can stand on stage in a bikini. Sorry figure girls, but it’s true. All the crap about presence and confidence. Whatever. I can say that. I’ve done it three times. Kind of like being the mother of a “disabled” child. You can use the word “retarded” and get away with it. Anyone elsethat uses it is a insensitive prick. But, I digress. It is difficult to get there, but the actual standing there, not so tough. I’m just evaluating if I’m up to the task of getting there.
So, for today, for success, I am planning my meals and I will call the girl who is going to help me choreograph. I’ll start there. I’ll let you know how it goes. That is all.