Moxie for Life

I’m so wishy washy right now. I just can’t figure out what to do with myself. Last summer I had plans. Things to do. This summer I’m lost. I need to get a schedule going. Get things on the right track. I haven’t been sleeping great. Although, last night I did and I just kept sleeping until 8:20. For me that is like noon considering I usually hit the gym between 4 and 5. Maybe I’m still in recovery from school, who knows. Hours on end with pre-teens can definitely drain a person.

I know that PMS has something to do with my tiredness, too. Which if I count the days looks like I’ll be hitting TOM right when I go to my Cross Fit Cert. Yay. I so love that. There is nothing better than trying to workout hard and in the presence of others when you feel like your insides are falling out.

I alos hope that the number on the scale I saw was indicative of the monthly curse. I’ll just whisper it, so as not to scare you…128.

If that is too small to read,  then you don’t need to know. My fear is that I’m getting further from comp weight and WTH? The urge to make it happen is disappearing, too. I don;t look in the mirror and get grossed out, which is progress. I know I would be happy if I was at 120 all the time. But, the big question is, am I willing to do what it takes to stay there? I just can’t say.

So, we will hit the Library this morning and the beach tomorrow. I gotta get out of this house. On a more positive note, I have an ortho appointment and pray he will be telling me I’m getting my braces off in the next couple weeks. That is something to celebrate.

I overheard my 7 year old cleaning out his backpack. “Trash, keep, give away…”

I’ve been doing a lot of fly lady cleaning out lately.

I love it.

Today’s workout had me spinning and then at the end I realized I hadn’t done it correctly.

3 rounds, for time:
800m run
KB Swings 25 (I don’t have kettlebells, so I used a 20 lb dumbbell)

I did: Thrusters round1: 30 lb- 15X Round 2&3 20 lb- 20X
Maybe it was subliminal that I “forgot” the pull ups. I still suck at them. I cannot wait to go to the cert. and get trained how to do them correctly.

So far this week I’ve really done nothing. I have packed up about 5 boxes of thrift store stuff and a couple of trash bags of junk that has needed to be purged for a long time. I’ve got about three more areas in the house that need a good clean out. My goal for the up coming week is to get the scene painted on my sons wall. I did Mario & Luigi at the old house. This one will be a bit more challenging with shading, but I’m going for it.

Man, I’m so boring today. Sorry. Here, a joke for you…

A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. “I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least five pounds.”
When the blonde returns, she’s lost nearly 20 pounds. “Why, that’s amazing!” the doctor says. “Did you follow my instructions?”
The blonde nods. “I’ll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day.”
“From hunger, you mean?” asked the doctor.
“No, from skipping.”

Ha ha…sorry, blondes.

I forgot I wanted to post the cross fit workout from yesterday. It is kind of crazy doing cross fit in a traditional gym. I had to run around crazy. Thankfully there weren’t too many people there and no one changed my set up while I was at each station.

Here it is…

“Fight Gone Bad!”

Three rounds of:
Wall-ball, 10 pound ball, 10 ft target (Reps)
Sumo deadlift high-pull, 45 pounds (Reps)
Box Jump, 14″ box (Reps)
Push-press, 25 pounds (Reps)
Row (Calories)

Each station is done for one minute and no rest in between. One minute rest at the end of each round. You are supposed to total up your reps and calories for points. I think I scored a 200. Not bad for my first time.
I ate food…some healthy some not. Yes, I had a donut. Probably not helpful to my detox, but wth. Live life, look forward, keep dreaming. No guilt.

Why is it, people don’t RSVP to events? In the age of email and evites, how hard is it to check a box “yes or no”? If you are a non responder, please comment and tell me why. I don’t get it.

Weigh in: 124.4

Man I must have been bloated or something. Ha. I’ll take it.

Food as of 2:00 pm

Myoplex Lite, 5 egg whites, 1/2 C oats, 3.5 oz tuna, a few fritos (ok about 4 handfuls- geez), a little bit of diet coke, detox mixture, water, vitamins

Dinner: Spaghetti? w/ Spinach salad

Workout: Crossfit 1-1-1-1-1-1-1 Snatch (my first time  doing snatches…not even sure if I was doing it right) Jamie Eason’s hellacious butt workout, 35 minutes cardio.

Muah. See you tomorrow.

I have officially decided that I cannot deal with using the term “cheat” anymore for eating off my plan. I have a problem with the word. It has a negative meaning.  ie- cheat on a test, cheat on your wife, etc.  So, no more. I have come to a place where I  must allow myself to eat things that please me, sometimes. I have learned enough about health and fitness to make a wise choice. I know that not everyone can do it and let me tell you, there are times when I eat, it is nothing but a cheat. When I have made myself sick from half the cheez-it container, that is a cheat. My biggest problem with calling it a “cheat” is the overwhelming urge to lie about it after the fact. I lie to myself mostly, but then I let everyone believe I’m this hardcore fitness person.  Really-I’m just a human. I know. Shocking. I should have made you sit down for that.

It makes it harder though when you know people are watching you and you feel they expect something from you, the guilt creeps in and pulls you into a dark space. I’m speaking from experience here. I admire those people who  lay it all out there. I’m not one of them.  Therefore, I now no longer call a piece of chocolate a cheat. I’m calling it a choice. I make a choice and I live with it.  I feel so free! What about you?

My honesty starts with my weigh in: 126.4 I REALLY want to maintain 120. Here goes.

The trip to Arkansas was fun. Not without adventure, but fun! We flew standby which went 90% smoothly. We didn’t really get to sit together, but no one seemed upset (kids). We did have our luggage sent to St.  Louis and that meant a trip back to the airport to pick it up, which meant two trips back to the airport because they still didn’t send my sons bag.

It wasn’t too hot until the last couple of days and we did get a small rainstorm. Activities included two bbq’s with the family, a water park trip, a trip to some caves and natural springs. Oh and by far the most, um, interesting thing we did, the diamond mines. No, we did not find anything save a few jasper rocks. Our millionaire moment delayed, yet again.

I like Arkansas, I really do. Well, maybe I like space. Oh, and wrap around porches. I would love 5 acres…heck, I’d love 1 acre. I just don’t think I’d be happy there. As we drove up the Pacific coast I remembered all the things I love about California. Ridiculous cost of living and all.

Eating was basically the “whatever, whenever” plan. I did manage a couple of salads. Mostly it was burgers, taco’s and pasta and rum ‘n coke. So, today is day 1 of detox and then Friday will start the carb cycling. I did weigh in this morning and was actually surprised to only see about 2 extra lbs.

It was awesome to get back to the gym today. I am anxious to call the choreographer and get things rolling.

On other good news, the school SAT scores came in and evidently I did do a pretty decent job teaching Math! The average score for all the students were 10th grade level. Thankyouverymuch. And a fine HA! to all the parents who doubted me.

One thing we came back with was a flu for my daughter. So, off to the doctor  this afternoon. C U Soon!