Reflections
As I sit here the day after my contest, I’m filled with questions for myself.
Should I have not competed this time?
Should I not have told my mom she didn’t need to come?
Should I have done more cardio?
Should I have…and the list goes on.
I am coming to the conclusion that I should stop asking myself these questions. I did what I could. After some personal things happened in my life I really lost my focus and I don’t think I ever got it back. I have this insane urge to NEVER quit something that I have started. I think this can be to my detriment sometimes.
So, to the story… I spent three hours in traffic to get to my airbrushing appointment. This was well worth the $$. So quick and easy. I spent the evening in my hotel room posing and watching TV, alone. I first began to feel a bit lonely here.
I got up at 4:30 and got my hair wet and blow dried, and make up started. At 5:30 I headed over for a tanning touch up. By 6:15 back to my room to finish makeup and getting my stuff together, alone.
Headed out to the venue at 7:30, stopped at the store for some prep H I forgot to bring. And got to the athletes meeting a bit late. Ooops. Sat around waiting for things to get going and headed down to the dressing room where the frenzy began. This is where I go crazy. I have come to both my shows almost ready to go on stage. These girls are crazy getting ready. I hate it. Spraying Pam everywhere, suits are not ready. One girl didn’t even bring a one piece and borrowed one from another girl. (Ew.) I couldn’t stand to be that unprepared.
After waiting forever because the men take so stinking long to do their routines, we finally get out there. I blew it first time out. I blanked on the posing and it showed on my face and from there on out. So every time, I was called out last. Suck. I mean I really am not upset about not “winning”, but LAST? They haven’t put the actual placings up yet and the comparison photos, but I just didn’t feel last.
Between prejudging and finals I went to the hotel to sleep and have some food. I felt a lot better after that, but still, alone. I toyed with not going back but you know, as I said before about the whole quitting thing, I just can’t.
I got back as late as possible for finals and still had to wait to go on but not as long. I felt much better this time, even though it was too late. I just kept thinking, I made it here and who the hell cares what those people in the judge seats write down! I’d like to see them strip down and give them a few tips…except Gina, of course who is crazy hot.
So all the awards were given.
Hubby got a late start because of other unforseen issues and ended up arriving at the end. Although he didn’t see me on stage we had a nice dinner at a pasta place and got coffee for the ride home.
I’ve pretty much eaten non stop since this morning. I was asking the kids if they had any candy and my youngest said ‘what about your competition thing?”. I told him it was over, and he said, “so you’re just going to stop eating healthy?”. Man, have I brainwashed them. lol
Family is coming over for dinner. I’m having bacon wrapped turkey medallions in a sundried tomato rub with rice and Michelob Ultra. Sounds healthy to me. :) As one wise competitor said, “never forget, when the show is over, life goes on”. I’m getting back to life today.
Ciao, my friends.
October 21st, 2007 at 4:07 pm
I am so very proud of you, Martha. You did it! You finished what you started!! Your pix looked great and I think you did an incredible job. I know it must be hard to not do as well as you wanted and I know you must feel some disappointment, but I hope that disappointment doesn’t last for long. I hope it changes over to extreme pride in your huge accomplishment. As I said in my email to you earlier….you have done something that I have struggled with …..you finished it and walked on that stage. I say CONGRATULATIONS my girl!
xo!
October 21st, 2007 at 6:32 pm
Martha….
You worked really hard and got back on stage..you shined like the true star that you are.WE all know how freaking subjective figure is…it’s completely nuts.
Still you were awesome and it seems you have probably inspired your kids in some form or fashion…they won’t forget what you have accomplished. Some who sees something through to the end is a great role model.
Life does go on….but you will never forget where you have been and where you might go again. Your a freaking rock star!
October 21st, 2007 at 11:07 pm
Martha,
I spent a little more time looking at the other girls pictures and I think you were robbed, but that is the figure world! All I can say is you definitely improved, not that you weren’t already fabulous the first time! You should be proud of all you have accomplished, this gig ain’t easy being a working mom, it takes a lot to get there, and to get there looking as fabulous as you did, truly amazing! I agree with Trojan, you are a rock star! I know you are one of my inspirations, just think of how many people you have inspired and you may not even know it…Continue to chase your dreams, whatever they may be!
Tina
October 23rd, 2007 at 9:19 pm
You rock. I am totally biased, but you are the big winner in my book!
I am still sad that I couldn’t come and cheer you on. Next time…