Moxie for Life

I officially hate the term “boy push ups”. Why do they have to be “boy”? Aren’t they just real push ups and opposed to less strenuous ones? I think in the interest of tough workout babes everywhere, we ban the use of the terms boy or girl push ups. I’m sure there are more than a few boys who cannot do real push ups.

And, for the record, I’m jealous of April and Angela going to The Arnold. I want to go to. (On the floor throwing a fit.) No really, you guys have fun. 

might need to stage an intervention.

I fear I may be looking like this soon.

 This time…

Last Time…

As I sit here the day after my contest, I’m filled with questions for myself.

Should I have not competed this time?

Should I not have told my mom she didn’t need to come?

Should I have done more cardio?

Should I have…and the list goes on.

I am coming to the conclusion that I should stop asking myself these questions. I did what I could. After some personal things happened in my life I really lost my  focus and I don’t think I ever got it back. I have this insane urge to NEVER quit something that I have started. I think this can be to my detriment sometimes.

So, to the story… I spent three hours in traffic to get to my airbrushing appointment. This was well worth the $$. So quick and easy. I spent the evening in my hotel room posing and watching TV, alone. I first began to feel a bit lonely here.

I got up at 4:30 and got my hair wet and blow dried, and make up started. At 5:30 I headed over for a tanning touch up. By 6:15 back to my room to finish makeup and getting my stuff together, alone.

Headed out to the venue at 7:30, stopped at the store for some prep H I forgot to bring. And got to the athletes meeting a bit late. Ooops. Sat around waiting for things to get going and headed down to the dressing room where the frenzy began. This is where I  go crazy. I have come to both my shows almost ready to go on stage. These girls are crazy getting ready. I hate it. Spraying Pam everywhere, suits are not ready. One girl didn’t even bring a one piece and borrowed one from another girl. (Ew.) I couldn’t stand to be that unprepared.

After waiting forever because the men take so stinking long to do their routines, we finally get out there. I blew it first time out. I blanked on the posing and it showed on my face and from there on out. So every time, I was called out last. Suck. I mean I really am not upset about not “winning”, but LAST?  They haven’t put the actual placings up yet and the comparison photos, but I just didn’t feel last.

Between prejudging and finals I went to the hotel to sleep and have some food. I felt a lot better after that, but still, alone. I toyed with not going back but you know, as I said before about the whole quitting thing, I just can’t.

I got back as late as possible for finals and still had to wait to go on but not as long. I felt much better this time, even though it was too late. I just kept thinking, I made it here and who the hell cares what those people in the judge seats write down! I’d like to see them strip down and give them a few tips…except Gina, of course who is crazy hot.

So all the awards were given.

Hubby got a late start because of other unforseen issues and ended up arriving at the end. Although he didn’t see me on stage we had a nice dinner at a pasta place and got coffee for the ride home.

I’ve pretty much eaten non stop since this morning. I was asking the kids if they had any candy and my youngest said ‘what about your competition thing?”. I told him it was over, and he said, “so you’re just going to stop eating healthy?”. Man, have I brainwashed them. lol

Family is coming over for dinner. I’m having bacon wrapped turkey medallions in a sundried tomato rub with rice and Michelob Ultra. Sounds healthy to me. :)  As one wise competitor said, “never forget, when the show is over, life goes on”. I’m getting back to life today.

Ciao, my friends.

Hard to know what they are looking at. I think muscularity. Although I did improve my muscle from last time, these girls are pretty pumped. I got called out pretty much last in everything. Whatever.  I want to go home, but I will finish because that is what I do. Can’t wait to eat.

time to make the donuts! I’m almost up. Getting my tan touched up t 5:30. I am crazy dark. This is from last night right after and it has gotten darker! Sorry I’m almost naked.

I will post after prejudging.

xo

In the last week I have gotten about 4 emails or messages about my butt. Evidently people think it looks good. They like it and want my secret. Hm. Why can’t I see it? I mean I see the changes I’ve made, but still see more to come.

Anyway, if you are one of those people, thank you, it means so much to me. Especially after yesterday when I felt so crappy about how I am looking. Twisted, I know. Time for a break.

I’m seriously low carbs right now, but not feeling a thing. I’m really getting excited. Especially because I found out Jan Tana is spraying at the show so that will be one worry off my mind. My mom will be off the hook of sponging me for hours. Gives me more time to rest.

My son expressed his feelings last night about my competing. He said he feels bad for me when I diet. He doesn’t like to see me not enjoying my food. So, I suppose in the future I better be a little more quiet about my feelings. Although, I really don’t complain much. I know they hear the bulk of when I do. He’s such a sweetie. I asked him if he thought I should do it again and he said I should if I do well this time. So I guess we’ll see what happens.

On a commercial break from competing, I have next week off. Maybe my euphoria is also related to that. Here is my list of things to do on my break:

Sleep

Eat

Order stuff for classroom (finally)

Shop for Halloween costumes

Take the kids out for smoothies and ice cream (they’ve been begging for so long)

Catch up with  a few friends

Clean my bathroom (ew-it’s gross)

Oh and I bought these to enjoy after the show: MMMMM!

I was seriously starv.ing. last night. Tony and I talked and somewhere I had not gotten the picture that when I’m hungry I’m supposed to eat. Huh. Imagine that. I thought that when meal 6 was done, I was done and so what if I feel like I’m going to implode or eat a whole box of frosted mini wheats. So I had some eggs and tomatoes and felt much better.

I even managed to do my 20 stairs.

I hadn’t mentioned this but in the process of my mom trying to adjust my suit, I lost the bottoms. So, yesterday to top it off, my other suit still had not arrived. I decided to gove one more look for the bottoms. I mean how do they just disappear? And lo and behold, they were right there where I am sure I looked 10 times before. I figured I better try to make them work if the other ones are lost in the postal service abyss and never show up. I pinned up the bottom and slipped it on. It actually might work. If mom can sew it so it doesn’t look like we pulled it in. I like the way ti looks a lot better than when I got it. Funny thing about body fat and swimsuits.

So here are a couple of the pics from the BFL Tracker contest. They aren’t great, but it is what it is.

Weight and waist.

Looking for 112 and 24″…no problem.9 Days.